I constantly ask myself how is this possible that some days I wake up fluent in English language, some days I am worse then when I have started 23 years ago. Learning second language and actually living in a foreign environment is extremely challenging from many aspects. Certainly one of the most critical is communicating with the world around you. Let’s discuss Bad Second Language Days!
Today I woke up with my bad english speaking. You know, the Poor English? When you express your feelings and thoughts like a native child age around 4-6. Or actually even worse.. I used to just try to stay silent these days because I feel super embarrassed and I can not even find words to describe what is inside me. Even when I attempt, just making it worse: my speaking is slow, colorless and even painful to listen as it is broken after every 2 words, sometimes stops even in the middle of a sentence… Erratic is the world I was just looking for. :D Thanks God I am writing I can pretend that I was not taking 3 minutes to find it in google translate. OR pretend that I have ever in my life heard this world.. Anyway I was saying there is nothing worse then being in the U.K. and having a bad second language day.
OMG, I actually googled this expression that “bad second language day” and I was highly surprised of the result. This is not only happening with me, duh, you naive-self-centered dummy! :D How interesting that people tend to believe they have something special only themselves and turns out we all actually suck in stuff the exact same way most of the time then others. :D Anyway I am happy to see others wake up with this bad foreign language day too. I mean that at least I am not alone super bad in languages. Others also have the same experiences but it is actually not helping me stopping this nightmare reoccurring thou…
So being in the U.K. and working close with ‘original’ British people in 24/7 for months as a Personal Assistant can really make any day a disaster if you suddenly loose your speaking/understanding skills. One day you sit in a car next to your english client talking about everything, making jokes, using advanced language and tools in oral expressions what making you look like a native. Even your accent suddenly changing from harsh Eastern-European for a close enough – to surprise you and make you believe you are rocking it –British one. KAbamm. Next time you wake up for a day where 2 hours of car road can seem like eternity. You are losing not just the ability to entertain your fellow traveler but causing you series of awkward misunderstandings all day long.
To those who never learned to get this far with any foreign languages or maybe grown up with 2-3 native ones, it is unimaginable what can this temporary second language brain block cause to your confidence. I am telling you now, it is bringing you waaaaay too down.
Imagine even with your native language you sometimes find it difficult to perfectly differentiate nuances, or orally paint a perfect picture while telling a wonderful/funny or epic story. Ornate ways of expression is what you intend to use to impress your audience if you are to attempt to look like a good communicator/discussion partner.
Nothing is worse then to find yourself in a situation when you not just stealing someone’s time for looooong minutes to wait for you while finding out how to say what you want him/her to get from your mind but looking total opposite of someone intelligent because it is actually super boring/annoying or useless to the other person what you are bringing on today’s table of intellectual feast.
Even if you try to joke around it, as you lost your way to speak properly, you lost the ability to make jokes even more. It is just a chess-mat situation. The other person normally try to joke or get into talking with you just to get the awkwardness patted down. Unsuccessful. Nothing more you can think but why your speaking skill sucks today and completely lost all your chances to have a normal relation building interaction. You can not even listen anymore because 1) you don’t pay attention thinking on why why why, 2) even if you do, you just can not get it 100% or 3) even if you get it you do not find the expression or the right speaking form to react… So annoying!
So that was my day today, and finally it is over. Soon will wake up with proper english again fingerscrossed wish me luck please :D