Are you dreaming about success? Having a secret project which you believe would make your life better? Wondering why is it that somehow the brilliant idea is only existing in your mind so far? What key factors can keep you laid-back and stopping you from realizing your dreams?
It might sounds ridiculous but I have to write this down because I used to say it so many times while working on organisation development: having problematic situation is – in itself- not the problem, the way we react on it can make it a difficulty. More often lack of reaction is the major issue. Such as the case of dreaming big and reaching nothing for years.. sometimes over a life time. What an unfortunate scenario?!?
Although more then we should have people are struggling with self-non-actualization. I am surely not in the same shoes with the major part of the world’s population, who are in even less fortunate situation then myself. I intend to talk in general about this trap when you have your God-given freedom to become anything you want, and you do not making it happen .
Since childhood I always tend to reflect on topics related to leading a successful life. Why is that seemingly same inner-outer environment, skills, interests or similar opportunities – you name it – can result in such differing life achievements. Success in my adaptation means one simple thing: being able to navigate and balance through life with the capability of realizing our very unique, special, personal vision. Simple: we can dream our life, we can later even modify it according to our wishes but we are must to be on the way to get there.
Here are my top findings what I believe the 3 major reasons of holding you back and fastening yourself into a comfortable average life:
- Out of focus:I went to run today and was struggling a lot with the distance and pace. So I sometimes needed to look down straight to my feet seeing them moving to prevent me stopping. The instant subconscious message here was watching myself moving but in step-sized bites. Any small it was, it was moving. So I felt instant relieves of the giant expectation of my “long” term goal. That is why the advice not always working: “keep your eyes on the goal”. Not every moment of life it will result in motivation, moreover it can hold you back. In my case it would have stopped me to imagining the exact place I am going because it seemed too far, and too much.
So when you have the big picture in head, and you find yourself staying at the same place is because you do not focus enough on the short term. Break it down into bite-sized, easily manageable tasks, and be content or find joy with the movement you get. Give yourself from time to time instant relief and pat your back for it. You deserve it! You are moving! Although never get out of your sight the dream of future state. It is more like a daily balance between polishing the idea of your long-term vision, and nurturing it’s execution one task at a time on short-term.
- Overlooking existing resources:thinking you don’t have what you need, is one of the biggest traps ever in life. We more often tend to put ourselves into a fake idea of listing out things we believe is must haves to start something. Do not forget the value of a re-purposed like old grain bag into a tote bag? Or re-functioning a legging as a headscarf or old stool as laundry container.These ways we can add a new direction to any of our already existing personal connections. Normally your friends for example are there, ready to support you. So why not to find something intersects both of your interests and involve them. Be sure you find a win-win situation, as you do not want them to feel used. Sometimes people in your network are genuinely interested in your life adventures, so if you dream of being a YouTuber these contacts can be your first fans. Do not forget to reach out to them and ask for their support, their advise, and just let them enjoy this process with you.
The same way if your vision is to be a YouTube star, do not start with listing out new equipment – unless you have tons of money – just use your smart phone and start to create content. It is hard enough to focus on one thing at a time, then to learn a bunch of new equipment and software to be used.Instantly will discourage you. Build up your style of talking, introducing your video or even the ways you find inspiration. With time it will come the perfect timing to upgrade! Just use what you actually already have.
- Doubting yourself:Many times is good to doubt ourselves if the purpose is to make us more uncomfortable with our very own situation until a point we feel we have no other choice then to move. But most of the times it is just totally stopping us from moving.Of course you need to start somewhere and you will not be perfect and will make a lots of mistakes. That is part of the process. Instead try to re-frame this situation: being amateur actually can allow you to have more freedom. As you are not an expert you are actually ‘permitted’ to make any mistakes. Experimenting with seemingly weird pairings what an expert would never even think of possible. Sometimes magic happens and you end up creating something unique or totally new.
It is true you will have haters, and sometimes you will not like your very own content, voice, look, decision or whatever you name it. But ask yourself: should this fear or failing stop you to create a life you have been dreaming about in the last 10 years every single day? In these doubting moments we tend to exaggerate the importance of other’s or even our very own criticism. Just try to not buy into it! At least try not to make this hold you back for your dream.
Life is way to precious to waste it because we didn’t dare to act.
Dying without trying is the worst thing can ever happen to you. Even worse then failing or, being criticized, or not having the perfect lighting to your first 100 youtube videos. I mean seriously, just get out there, put yourself into it, and struggle the sh.t out of every single day in a making of your dream. That is what will end up in passion, and eventually success.
What do you think, what are the top 3 key factors holding you back? Do you agree with the ones I have noticed as my worst enemies in the making? Can you add or take away from these? Let me know in the comment section or on any of my contacts.