It doesn’t matter what reason brought you here, to this decision, to build a more self-loving life. The most important that you have already started.
Some of us just getting out of a relationship where one put all in but the other doesn’t even gave damn or way much less back. Others of us just have recently realized that in life there is nobody, who will care about one’s happiness more then their owns…
- Mind Switching: it is very important to keep meditating on this thought: “I, too, deserve all the care what I usually give to others.” It is up to you how you raise your consciousness: talking about this with others, read after, make personality tests, look into the mirror every morning saying out loud, keep journal etc. The point is to keep thinking about that you worth absolutely all the love you usually give to others. You should love yourself at least equally.
- Note to Self: either physically create a list or a mental note about what habits bring you joy, what activities make you feel content about yourself. Ensure you list sources across all different areas of your life: social, career, intellectual, body and health, spiritual, family or even financial. It is the time when you start daily investing into your very own self.
- Stop the Roller-Coaster: by identifying situations which you feel “used” or people who are holding you back and completely blocking you focusing on your list of needs and placing theirs only in the center expecting you to fulfill. It’s ok to walk away and protect your resources for your sake. Don’t be surprise to realize that sometimes that person-holding you back- is you, yourself. As soon as this happens, you can surely know better how to balance out your life and stop the constant ups and downs.
This doesn’t mean you give up on everything instantly: loose the only job you have right now to make your living, or ignore your family in some horrible situation. You still have duties. But, you need to learn how to keep some space out for yourself even in the most pressing situations to care for yourself.
I found myself always worrying to invest into “easy” solutions. You know to make my life a bit less “pressing”. I always find myself automatically saving up money for something else. Feeling guilty once paying a few quids to entertain or spoil myself.
Imagine tiny situations, like I never took a taxi to an airport for example. I rather use less comfortable options. I think twice buying a cup of coffee for myself and rather just drink it at home. Usually after shopping I carry 2 giant bags for 1 hours long back to the house, because I do not want to pay the 1,5 pounds of bus ticket… Feeling guilt – while providing less hustle-like solutions – is my daily life now. Choosing hustle became my decision preference.
Imagine, these choices I make millions of them daily with the exact same mindset: not giving myself any ease, not letting myself feel comfortable, always being on my toes.
Meanwhile, I provide and contribute to other people’s life choices instead.
It is not about them, of cause I want them happy, and successful. But it can’t take away from me, my focus and can’t take my life as sacrifice anymore.
This must stop.
It is an absolute must to say no to others, when they are trying to push their life responsibilities on me or waiting for me to provide to them as their ways of avoiding hardship of life…
I’m not responsible to make their life easier on the price of mine.
First I need to make my life easy then I can do even more for others.