I clearly remember, in my heart, there were fireworks when I first saw the flickering lights of my home town after years.
After turning around a bit, I can say firmly that nothing much changed here. Every building and street looks identical for the ones I remembered.
When I left, the first 2 years straight I haven’t been home. Then on average I returned for 2 weeks in every 6 months.
As part of this lifestyle of being a nomad and world traveler, it often happens that you are not there when major things were happening with your loved ones. You have to put up with it, and accept as it is nature, as you are well aware of this phenomenon.
Life doesn’t stop when you leave. Does it?
I have lost 3 family members since I moved abroad first. It is devastating but I take it as “life is like that”. Sometimes it happens, that you can’t say goodbye to your loved ones. It wasn’t possible to see my grandma last before she died in 2016. Nor my aunt 4 months before. At least I could come home for my uncle’s funeral..
My friends and family members got married since, and most of them have 1-2 kids by now. Which is insane thinking of us back then in 2013-14 when we all were in our 20’s still not even in a relationship.
Life goes on.
Tell me now 4-5 years is nothing…
Events happened in everyone’s lives and I was not there to live it through with them.
As well as they are not there for your life happenings or it is diffiuclt to share with them because if someone is not travelling they won’t appreciate turlly the things your life is centrered around. Sometimes maybe you worry they will feel judged or belittled if you talk about your problems.. what it can possibly be compere to their adulting?
You are still a kid.. a fancy homeless.. travelling around and doing how it fancies. At least it looks like that..
500 Euro for a plane ticket to your cherished destination is nothing to you, but it is a half year tuition fee for their kids.
It is not like we expect them to always be free when we suddenly appear home..
To be honest it is more like we convert back to our past selves when we are around home, and instantly flip back to that life-stylye and energies. WE just wanna party, and go and do stuff together as we used to.
Is it only me who is troubled by how much I no longer fit to my home town? Not because I am any different, but that there is no longer a place for me here.
Time is precious and it won’t be kept empthy for me. I knew this. I don’t expeccct it. why is it still bothering me? It is not personal I know. It is not a revenge or anything like that. It is just simply life.
Why is it so hard to accept the clock has kept ticking and didn’t stop in the year when I left?
In 2019 I have been blessed. from mid February till end of March I was here. And since end of April I am back again till first week of June.
Being far from home for too long makes everything different even if physically they look the same.